June has been pretty uneventful. I still haven't found a job. I've applied for a few and I suppose I'll keep applying until I get one. I've started working on a website for my grandmother. She wants to start selling her peanut brittle online. I've decided that original sin is the part of christianity I dislike the most. I watched "Hidden Fortress" and was pleased with the film and was giddy at the number of new reasons it gave me to continue disliking George Lucas. That was until I watched "Yojimbo" and discovered that unless I wanted to be a hypocrite I would have to start disliking Sergio Leone as he did in tenfold excess what Lucas did. Disliking Leone is not something I'm prepared to do so I guess for now George is safe. He just better pray by the hair on his jowly-jowl-jowls that the fourth film he makes about Indiana Jones doesn't suck as much as the forth film he made about whoever the hell the main character in Star Wars is.

Every time I go into Bookman's I check to see if they have a copy of "No Country for Old Men" by Cormac McCarthy. It seems like the Coen brothers will spare me the future trouble as they have made a movie based on this very novel. Needless to say, I'm quite looking forward to it.

Let's see....what else do I have for this month's post...

Not much.

Well, I now have a bachelor’s degree in biology.

Yep, that's it. See you next month.

Jared, Jason, Tim...tsk, tsk, tsk. I'm noticing you aren't showering the love on 'ol god these days. Tim, I don't know if you've historically been religious, but I know the other two sure have. What's with all this uncertainty and apprehension fellas?

You haven't been thinking have you?

You know god doesn't like that. That's why he invented blind faith. So you can be happy and easily ignore the fiendish plots the devil uses to destroy your beliefs. Such as:

Logic
Reason
Things you see with your own two eyes
Books
Your brain

...and the list goes on.

But seriously, I had a hard time deciding how to approach this post. First I wanted to deride you guys on your weakness and inability to take a stand on something. Then I though about pretending to have doubts about my own beliefs (but I remembered my beliefs are actually true so that wouldn't work). Then I thought about actually supporting you guys in your time of uncertainty and doubt...and of course just the thought of that made me lol. Finally I decided on what you just read.

But enough of that. Moving on to non-religious stuff...

I prayed as hard as I ever have my entire life the other night. I prayed, "Hear my plea oh god the almighty and powerful. Hear me god who destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, who smote Cain with an awful curse, who sets upon the world disfiguring plagues of every variety. Hear me oh god that still feels the need to punish women with the dreadful pain of childbirth for the actions of one woman thousands of years ago, please just answer this one prayer...

...PLEASE don't let Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny suck!"

Apparently he wasn't listening.

"We see many who are struggling against adversity who are happy, and more although abounding in wealth, who are wretched."
-Tacitus

I don’t know what it’s like to be passionate about something. Anything. Or anyone for that matter.

The reason why is of no consequence, as I’m not even sure myself. Although, even were I completely sure, I wouldn’t tell you anyway.

The fact is I lack whatever it takes to have deep, meaningful desires. Maybe it’s that I’ve been able to achieve what’s been expected of me with little effort. School is what I’m talking about now. I don’t mean to boast or sound conceited, but believe me when I say that graduating college has not been a taxing experience. I can count a handful or times when a single class has given me cause to put some real effort into studying. But for the most part I’ve coasted. And for that I feel guilty. Guilty for wasting my talent and abilities. Guilty for passing up opportunities many in this world will never have. Guilty for not achieving more. But that would take desire. Ambition. Passion. Which, as I said earlier, I simply don’t have.

And the worst part is that I may never find something I’m passionate about. I could very easily coast through the rest of my life. This itself is a luxury many in this world would (and do) die for.

Ugh. I’ll tell you all something about me. I don’t like at all what I just wrote. I hate talking about myself. Some of the above stuff’s true, most of its exaggerated. It all sounds whiney and contrived, which I hate in others and abhor in myself. But I did feel the need to post something, so there it is. Next time it’ll be funny…er. Or about, you know...god or something.

Movies I'm excited about:

300

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Grindhouse ("Planet Terror" & "Death Proof")

Oceans 13

Movies that I'd watch and probably enjoy:

Blades of Glory

Reno 911: Miami

Spider-Man 3

Sunshine

An Unreasonable Man

Movies I think will suck:

Anything associated with Zach Braff

Fantastic Four: Rise of...whoever

Most of the other stuff I haven't mentioned

Movies I've seen recently and liked:

The Merchant of Venice

Serenity

Smokin' Aces

The Third Man

Jesus Camp


This is seriously the only thing I could think of to post. That fact alone tells more about me than anything I could possibly write.

There's still snow on the ground.

From earlier.

When it fucking snowed.

In Tucson.

Need proof that global warming is a bunch of liberal tree-hugging crystal-gripping hippie nonsense?

Come to Tucson and look down.

Cold hard facts.

Emphasis on cold.

Seriously though, I’m not awed by snow or anything and I know it’s not unheard-of for it to snow in Tucson, but it’s the first time it’s happened since I’ve been here. And it is freakin’ cold. I can understand why Dante described the lowest levels of Hell as icy, frozen rivers. I feel bad for people who have to endure it. I mean actual people not people in Hell. Because there are no people in Hell. Because there is no Hell. And it’s not even that cold.

On a somewhat unrelated note, I realized something the other day that I can’t believe I’ve never really thought about before. About Christians. It’s insane. I think about it, you know, in my head and I can’t believe that there are people who don’t think it's weird. Emphasis on weird. I’ve studied some pretty messed up pagan cultures, but none of them had the audacity to do what Christians do. Maybe some, but I doubt it. I don’t know how Christians get away with it.

Eating their god.

Chewing up, swallowing, digesting, secreting and flushing away their lord and savior.

Wow.

As a soon-to-be member of the college-graduate class of persons, I feel the need (nay, the duty!) to bestow upon my soon-to-be non-peers various facts, which will invariably help them in their daily endeavors.

1. Shop at Wal-Mart after 10 pm. This will provide you with the following benefits:

a. Due to genetically inherited ignorance, most Wal-Mart shoppers are scared of the dark, believing it to be the time when monsters, werewolves, and Mexicans come out to feed. This renders Wal-Mart virtually uninhabited, allowing you the freedom to dig in the $5.50 movie bin unhindered.

b. Late at night is the only window available to view the elusive “Night Stocker” in their natural environment. It’s been scientifically hypothesized that watching a Wal-Mart Night Stocker for 5 minutes will immediately raise your self-confidence, increase your ego, and make you look more attractive. CAUTION: Aviod direct eye contact!

2. Insert hyphens ad nauseam into any sentence, written or oral.

3. Look up ad nauseam on wikipedia. Repeat for anything else you do not know.