Jared, Jason, Tim...tsk, tsk, tsk. I'm noticing you aren't showering the love on 'ol god these days. Tim, I don't know if you've historically been religious, but I know the other two sure have. What's with all this uncertainty and apprehension fellas?
You haven't been thinking have you?
You know god doesn't like that. That's why he invented blind faith. So you can be happy and easily ignore the fiendish plots the devil uses to destroy your beliefs. Such as:
Logic
Reason
Things you see with your own two eyes
Books
Your brain
...and the list goes on.
But seriously, I had a hard time deciding how to approach this post. First I wanted to deride you guys on your weakness and inability to take a stand on something. Then I though about pretending to have doubts about my own beliefs (but I remembered my beliefs are actually true so that wouldn't work). Then I thought about actually supporting you guys in your time of uncertainty and doubt...and of course just the thought of that made me lol. Finally I decided on what you just read.
But enough of that. Moving on to non-religious stuff...
I prayed as hard as I ever have my entire life the other night. I prayed, "Hear my plea oh god the almighty and powerful. Hear me god who destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, who smote Cain with an awful curse, who sets upon the world disfiguring plagues of every variety. Hear me oh god that still feels the need to punish women with the dreadful pain of childbirth for the actions of one woman thousands of years ago, please just answer this one prayer...
...PLEASE don't let Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny suck!"
Apparently he wasn't listening.
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About Me
- Michael Burton
- I think I'm so much cooler than I actually am. In fact, in my head me saying that I'm not cool is an extremely cool thing to do.
4 comments:
I had the hardest time with my big serious "I don't know what I believe" blog because I knew you would say things that made me feel even more foolish than I already feel.
Then I read this blog. And it made me laugh. Kurt Vonnegut died today, and all he ever did was laugh. At his beliefs, his doubts, his bullshit and his poetry. Life and death. War and peace. He fucking laughed about all of it. It was the only way he managed to make any sort of sense of any of it.
So, if it's cool with you Mike, I'm going to keep laughing at your posts. Not just because they are funny (and actually make me LOL, DOOD!), but because I know that regardless of our individual self rightousness, machismo or posturing, you and I are the exact same thing and we are of the exact same birth and have the same blood and ask the same questions.
So, yeah, "Pick of Destiny" could have been a little better, but I don't think a film has ever made better use of the word "fuck" in the history of films.
We need to hang out this summer. As much as possible. Whatever it takes.
Mike. I'm struggling with my decision to struggle with my beliefs.
Help?
The part where you prayed was really funny. Not that you prayed but the way you wrote the prayer. I totally LOLded. I haven't seen that movie but I'm pretty sure I don't want to. It sounds like shittiness.
I wanted to see the movie, but I haven't yet. It's nice to know that it sucks because I don't like having high expectations when I approach new things.
About the religion thing. This is something that I've struggled with since 7th grade. I never was religious before, and I have undergone numerous transitions since then. I think it went atheist to gnostic to saved to agnostic to atheist to thinking about wanting to be "saved" again to agnostic to my current "who gives a shit anymore?" At this present moment if I were asked by somebody, "Why don't you believe in God?" My only response could be, "Why the fuck would it even matter?"
Officially I'm labelling myself as "confused".
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