Almost missed my deadline. I don't know why recently (and by that I mean since February) I've found it so hard to find stuff to write about. Not that I was ever that prolific, but a short paragraph once a month is pretty anemic, although it is a valid reflection of the life I lead.

Basically what I’m trying to say is that I’m going to try and post more.

I started substitute teaching last week. For the most part it’s really pretty good. There of course are kids that are annoying or cause trouble, but it’s always a small minority. A minority of the students as a whole I mean, not a short black or Mexican child. Although…

Anyway, that’s pretty much it. Fall break starts next week so it looks like I’ll have some time off. I’ll use the time to try and think up stuff to write about.

I got my substitute teaching certificate today. The plan is to sub until I find something better. That's pretty much been the extent of my August. I've enjoyed my time off and I've really enjoyed the fact that this was the first summer were I didn't have to prepare for a new year of school, but it's starting to get a little monotonous and I'm glad to finally have something to do.

Well it's done. It's all over. I've dreaded the day when I would be able to say this for the past, wow like 7 years, but...

...there will be no new Harry Potter books.

Ever.

They're all done. I will never the rest of my life be able to look forward to reading a page out of a Harry Potter book for the first time.

Never.

Now obviously I'm embellishing a little for the sake of humor, but not that much really. I'm seriously sad that I've finished reading all the Harry Potter books. I started reading them (reluctantly I might add) after the 4th book had already been published so I was able to read through the first 4 books without interruption. I envy people who haven't even started reading them as they'll have that luxury with all 7 volumes. However, I think that having to wait a few years in between books only made them more enjoyable. It's probably akin to waiting for The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi to come out, only with better writing.

My only consolation is that Mrs. Rowling won't follow the path of a certain jowly director and ruin a perfectly good epic with a set of disdainful follow-ups.

At least I pray to god she doesn't.

June has been pretty uneventful. I still haven't found a job. I've applied for a few and I suppose I'll keep applying until I get one. I've started working on a website for my grandmother. She wants to start selling her peanut brittle online. I've decided that original sin is the part of christianity I dislike the most. I watched "Hidden Fortress" and was pleased with the film and was giddy at the number of new reasons it gave me to continue disliking George Lucas. That was until I watched "Yojimbo" and discovered that unless I wanted to be a hypocrite I would have to start disliking Sergio Leone as he did in tenfold excess what Lucas did. Disliking Leone is not something I'm prepared to do so I guess for now George is safe. He just better pray by the hair on his jowly-jowl-jowls that the fourth film he makes about Indiana Jones doesn't suck as much as the forth film he made about whoever the hell the main character in Star Wars is.

Every time I go into Bookman's I check to see if they have a copy of "No Country for Old Men" by Cormac McCarthy. It seems like the Coen brothers will spare me the future trouble as they have made a movie based on this very novel. Needless to say, I'm quite looking forward to it.

Let's see....what else do I have for this month's post...

Not much.

Well, I now have a bachelor’s degree in biology.

Yep, that's it. See you next month.

Jared, Jason, Tim...tsk, tsk, tsk. I'm noticing you aren't showering the love on 'ol god these days. Tim, I don't know if you've historically been religious, but I know the other two sure have. What's with all this uncertainty and apprehension fellas?

You haven't been thinking have you?

You know god doesn't like that. That's why he invented blind faith. So you can be happy and easily ignore the fiendish plots the devil uses to destroy your beliefs. Such as:

Logic
Reason
Things you see with your own two eyes
Books
Your brain

...and the list goes on.

But seriously, I had a hard time deciding how to approach this post. First I wanted to deride you guys on your weakness and inability to take a stand on something. Then I though about pretending to have doubts about my own beliefs (but I remembered my beliefs are actually true so that wouldn't work). Then I thought about actually supporting you guys in your time of uncertainty and doubt...and of course just the thought of that made me lol. Finally I decided on what you just read.

But enough of that. Moving on to non-religious stuff...

I prayed as hard as I ever have my entire life the other night. I prayed, "Hear my plea oh god the almighty and powerful. Hear me god who destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, who smote Cain with an awful curse, who sets upon the world disfiguring plagues of every variety. Hear me oh god that still feels the need to punish women with the dreadful pain of childbirth for the actions of one woman thousands of years ago, please just answer this one prayer...

...PLEASE don't let Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny suck!"

Apparently he wasn't listening.

"We see many who are struggling against adversity who are happy, and more although abounding in wealth, who are wretched."
-Tacitus

I don’t know what it’s like to be passionate about something. Anything. Or anyone for that matter.

The reason why is of no consequence, as I’m not even sure myself. Although, even were I completely sure, I wouldn’t tell you anyway.

The fact is I lack whatever it takes to have deep, meaningful desires. Maybe it’s that I’ve been able to achieve what’s been expected of me with little effort. School is what I’m talking about now. I don’t mean to boast or sound conceited, but believe me when I say that graduating college has not been a taxing experience. I can count a handful or times when a single class has given me cause to put some real effort into studying. But for the most part I’ve coasted. And for that I feel guilty. Guilty for wasting my talent and abilities. Guilty for passing up opportunities many in this world will never have. Guilty for not achieving more. But that would take desire. Ambition. Passion. Which, as I said earlier, I simply don’t have.

And the worst part is that I may never find something I’m passionate about. I could very easily coast through the rest of my life. This itself is a luxury many in this world would (and do) die for.

Ugh. I’ll tell you all something about me. I don’t like at all what I just wrote. I hate talking about myself. Some of the above stuff’s true, most of its exaggerated. It all sounds whiney and contrived, which I hate in others and abhor in myself. But I did feel the need to post something, so there it is. Next time it’ll be funny…er. Or about, you know...god or something.