"We see many who are struggling against adversity who are happy, and more although abounding in wealth, who are wretched."
-Tacitus
I don’t know what it’s like to be passionate about something. Anything. Or anyone for that matter.
The reason why is of no consequence, as I’m not even sure myself. Although, even were I completely sure, I wouldn’t tell you anyway.
The fact is I lack whatever it takes to have deep, meaningful desires. Maybe it’s that I’ve been able to achieve what’s been expected of me with little effort. School is what I’m talking about now. I don’t mean to boast or sound conceited, but believe me when I say that graduating college has not been a taxing experience. I can count a handful or times when a single class has given me cause to put some real effort into studying. But for the most part I’ve coasted. And for that I feel guilty. Guilty for wasting my talent and abilities. Guilty for passing up opportunities many in this world will never have. Guilty for not achieving more. But that would take desire. Ambition. Passion. Which, as I said earlier, I simply don’t have.
And the worst part is that I may never find something I’m passionate about. I could very easily coast through the rest of my life. This itself is a luxury many in this world would (and do) die for.
Ugh. I’ll tell you all something about me. I don’t like at all what I just wrote. I hate talking about myself. Some of the above stuff’s true, most of its exaggerated. It all sounds whiney and contrived, which I hate in others and abhor in myself. But I did feel the need to post something, so there it is. Next time it’ll be funny…er. Or about, you know...god or something.
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About Me
- Michael Burton
- I think I'm so much cooler than I actually am. In fact, in my head me saying that I'm not cool is an extremely cool thing to do.
4 comments:
Be passionate about blogging. It's the only thing in life that matters anyways.
Remember, people want to know all the intimate details of your life...always.
Mike, I know you don't like posting this type of thing, and believe me, I hate sounding whiny (although I fail miserably, at least in my own head) too, but it's nice to see this type of thing from you, at least from my perspective. I also feel passionate about absolutely nothing. But, you're right, I'd rather have all the talent with no passion than be completely passionless and talentless, to boot. That's how I feel right now... it's a pretty shitty feeling. I say, don't be guilty, just be Mike. Mike's a pretty good guy, from my experiences with him.
Mike, your entries, be they funny or serious like this, are always a joy to read.
You just write well.
I miss your smell, too.
Jason misses your smell!
And Mike, to be honest, I have no passion either. It feels shitty. I think when I did it was false, art just came really easy to me. Now that it seems really complicated I've completely let go of it. I don't love it that much to actually try.
You should always write like this. It makes us feel special to hear something like that from you since you usually seem to have it all together and it may make some of us jealous.
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