It's almost a new year, which is always exciting. New calendars. Having to remember to write 08 when I go to the bank or sign stuff. And I'm about to move in with a couple of my best friends, which is also exciting. I mean, my mom didn't make me pay rent. And she made me food. And I'll be moving into a smaller room. And I'll have to share a bathroom.

But Kirt does produce some pungent odors, so there are some downsides too.

I'm looking forward to it anyway.

It's raining today, but it's not very cold. I've only worn a sweater once this winter and it's the end of November. I know it's a desert but come on! It's like some unseen phenomenon is causing the world to get hotter and hotter.

As a sub today I had the class watch Transformers. And since it was 6th grade that meant watching the first 50 minutes of Transformers 4 times.

Once was more than enough.

I didn't sub Wednesday and watched American Gangster at the new theater in Casa Grande. It was a solid film but I don't know...it didn't floor me.

No Country for Old Men was by far the best movie I've seen this week. I think that fact that there were aspects to the film (the Chigurh character or the dreams described at the end of the film) that are important for reasons that I don't understand...but I still know they're important. If nothing else it gives me something to think about.

Well I had every intention of posting lots of extremely interesting stuff this month, but it just didn’t happen. I will now, however, respond to Jason’s call-out with my thoughts on Dumbledore’s coming-out.

First, I don’t know what possible relevance Dumbledore’s sexuality has to the story of Harry Potter. I was able to read through all seven books and not at one time even think about whether Dumbledore was a tad queer. Looking back now that Rowling has said he is gay, I suppose it fits. I mean, there was never mention of a wife or female love interest. However I don’t think that alone is evidence enough to assume he was barebacking in the broom closet.

Which brings me to my second thought: books are set in stone. Not literally of course, but they started out that way (i.e. ten commandments) and we started setting them in paper just because of weight and cost issues. And this applies almost exclusively to fiction (i.e. ten commandments), but once a book is written and published it should be fairly self-contained. All the information about the characters, settings, and the universe that that book creates should be contained within the pages of that particular book. Some gaps may be left for the imagination of the reader to fill, but that is left up to the discretion of the reader. What Rowling did was fill one of these imagination-gaps with information of her own and since she wrote the books and created the Harry Potter universe we take her words as gospel, as if her words were written in one of the books. But they weren’t. And since Dumbledore isn’t a real person and only exists in the pages of the seven Harry Potter novels then he’s not gay unless: 1) In one of the books it says he’s gay or 2) It’s left up to the reader to assume/imagine he’s gay. Well option 1 isn’t true which leaves the matter of Dumbledore’s homosexuality up to the discretion of the reader and not with Ms. Rowling.

Now, I don’t doubt at all the Rowing had the intention of making Dumbledore gay but it is so ancillary and inconsequential to the story that I really don’t see the relevance other that to cause a stir by revealing Dumbledore as a bender and to maybe trick some anti-gays who like Dumbledore into rethinking their values.

Anyway, enough of that. It’s Halloween and I think I’ve talked enough about gay warlocks.

Almost missed my deadline. I don't know why recently (and by that I mean since February) I've found it so hard to find stuff to write about. Not that I was ever that prolific, but a short paragraph once a month is pretty anemic, although it is a valid reflection of the life I lead.

Basically what I’m trying to say is that I’m going to try and post more.

I started substitute teaching last week. For the most part it’s really pretty good. There of course are kids that are annoying or cause trouble, but it’s always a small minority. A minority of the students as a whole I mean, not a short black or Mexican child. Although…

Anyway, that’s pretty much it. Fall break starts next week so it looks like I’ll have some time off. I’ll use the time to try and think up stuff to write about.

I got my substitute teaching certificate today. The plan is to sub until I find something better. That's pretty much been the extent of my August. I've enjoyed my time off and I've really enjoyed the fact that this was the first summer were I didn't have to prepare for a new year of school, but it's starting to get a little monotonous and I'm glad to finally have something to do.

Well it's done. It's all over. I've dreaded the day when I would be able to say this for the past, wow like 7 years, but...

...there will be no new Harry Potter books.

Ever.

They're all done. I will never the rest of my life be able to look forward to reading a page out of a Harry Potter book for the first time.

Never.

Now obviously I'm embellishing a little for the sake of humor, but not that much really. I'm seriously sad that I've finished reading all the Harry Potter books. I started reading them (reluctantly I might add) after the 4th book had already been published so I was able to read through the first 4 books without interruption. I envy people who haven't even started reading them as they'll have that luxury with all 7 volumes. However, I think that having to wait a few years in between books only made them more enjoyable. It's probably akin to waiting for The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi to come out, only with better writing.

My only consolation is that Mrs. Rowling won't follow the path of a certain jowly director and ruin a perfectly good epic with a set of disdainful follow-ups.

At least I pray to god she doesn't.

June has been pretty uneventful. I still haven't found a job. I've applied for a few and I suppose I'll keep applying until I get one. I've started working on a website for my grandmother. She wants to start selling her peanut brittle online. I've decided that original sin is the part of christianity I dislike the most. I watched "Hidden Fortress" and was pleased with the film and was giddy at the number of new reasons it gave me to continue disliking George Lucas. That was until I watched "Yojimbo" and discovered that unless I wanted to be a hypocrite I would have to start disliking Sergio Leone as he did in tenfold excess what Lucas did. Disliking Leone is not something I'm prepared to do so I guess for now George is safe. He just better pray by the hair on his jowly-jowl-jowls that the fourth film he makes about Indiana Jones doesn't suck as much as the forth film he made about whoever the hell the main character in Star Wars is.

Every time I go into Bookman's I check to see if they have a copy of "No Country for Old Men" by Cormac McCarthy. It seems like the Coen brothers will spare me the future trouble as they have made a movie based on this very novel. Needless to say, I'm quite looking forward to it.

Let's see....what else do I have for this month's post...

Not much.

Well, I now have a bachelor’s degree in biology.

Yep, that's it. See you next month.

Jared, Jason, Tim...tsk, tsk, tsk. I'm noticing you aren't showering the love on 'ol god these days. Tim, I don't know if you've historically been religious, but I know the other two sure have. What's with all this uncertainty and apprehension fellas?

You haven't been thinking have you?

You know god doesn't like that. That's why he invented blind faith. So you can be happy and easily ignore the fiendish plots the devil uses to destroy your beliefs. Such as:

Logic
Reason
Things you see with your own two eyes
Books
Your brain

...and the list goes on.

But seriously, I had a hard time deciding how to approach this post. First I wanted to deride you guys on your weakness and inability to take a stand on something. Then I though about pretending to have doubts about my own beliefs (but I remembered my beliefs are actually true so that wouldn't work). Then I thought about actually supporting you guys in your time of uncertainty and doubt...and of course just the thought of that made me lol. Finally I decided on what you just read.

But enough of that. Moving on to non-religious stuff...

I prayed as hard as I ever have my entire life the other night. I prayed, "Hear my plea oh god the almighty and powerful. Hear me god who destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, who smote Cain with an awful curse, who sets upon the world disfiguring plagues of every variety. Hear me oh god that still feels the need to punish women with the dreadful pain of childbirth for the actions of one woman thousands of years ago, please just answer this one prayer...

...PLEASE don't let Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny suck!"

Apparently he wasn't listening.

"We see many who are struggling against adversity who are happy, and more although abounding in wealth, who are wretched."
-Tacitus

I don’t know what it’s like to be passionate about something. Anything. Or anyone for that matter.

The reason why is of no consequence, as I’m not even sure myself. Although, even were I completely sure, I wouldn’t tell you anyway.

The fact is I lack whatever it takes to have deep, meaningful desires. Maybe it’s that I’ve been able to achieve what’s been expected of me with little effort. School is what I’m talking about now. I don’t mean to boast or sound conceited, but believe me when I say that graduating college has not been a taxing experience. I can count a handful or times when a single class has given me cause to put some real effort into studying. But for the most part I’ve coasted. And for that I feel guilty. Guilty for wasting my talent and abilities. Guilty for passing up opportunities many in this world will never have. Guilty for not achieving more. But that would take desire. Ambition. Passion. Which, as I said earlier, I simply don’t have.

And the worst part is that I may never find something I’m passionate about. I could very easily coast through the rest of my life. This itself is a luxury many in this world would (and do) die for.

Ugh. I’ll tell you all something about me. I don’t like at all what I just wrote. I hate talking about myself. Some of the above stuff’s true, most of its exaggerated. It all sounds whiney and contrived, which I hate in others and abhor in myself. But I did feel the need to post something, so there it is. Next time it’ll be funny…er. Or about, you know...god or something.

Movies I'm excited about:

300

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Grindhouse ("Planet Terror" & "Death Proof")

Oceans 13

Movies that I'd watch and probably enjoy:

Blades of Glory

Reno 911: Miami

Spider-Man 3

Sunshine

An Unreasonable Man

Movies I think will suck:

Anything associated with Zach Braff

Fantastic Four: Rise of...whoever

Most of the other stuff I haven't mentioned

Movies I've seen recently and liked:

The Merchant of Venice

Serenity

Smokin' Aces

The Third Man

Jesus Camp


This is seriously the only thing I could think of to post. That fact alone tells more about me than anything I could possibly write.

There's still snow on the ground.

From earlier.

When it fucking snowed.

In Tucson.

Need proof that global warming is a bunch of liberal tree-hugging crystal-gripping hippie nonsense?

Come to Tucson and look down.

Cold hard facts.

Emphasis on cold.

Seriously though, I’m not awed by snow or anything and I know it’s not unheard-of for it to snow in Tucson, but it’s the first time it’s happened since I’ve been here. And it is freakin’ cold. I can understand why Dante described the lowest levels of Hell as icy, frozen rivers. I feel bad for people who have to endure it. I mean actual people not people in Hell. Because there are no people in Hell. Because there is no Hell. And it’s not even that cold.

On a somewhat unrelated note, I realized something the other day that I can’t believe I’ve never really thought about before. About Christians. It’s insane. I think about it, you know, in my head and I can’t believe that there are people who don’t think it's weird. Emphasis on weird. I’ve studied some pretty messed up pagan cultures, but none of them had the audacity to do what Christians do. Maybe some, but I doubt it. I don’t know how Christians get away with it.

Eating their god.

Chewing up, swallowing, digesting, secreting and flushing away their lord and savior.

Wow.

As a soon-to-be member of the college-graduate class of persons, I feel the need (nay, the duty!) to bestow upon my soon-to-be non-peers various facts, which will invariably help them in their daily endeavors.

1. Shop at Wal-Mart after 10 pm. This will provide you with the following benefits:

a. Due to genetically inherited ignorance, most Wal-Mart shoppers are scared of the dark, believing it to be the time when monsters, werewolves, and Mexicans come out to feed. This renders Wal-Mart virtually uninhabited, allowing you the freedom to dig in the $5.50 movie bin unhindered.

b. Late at night is the only window available to view the elusive “Night Stocker” in their natural environment. It’s been scientifically hypothesized that watching a Wal-Mart Night Stocker for 5 minutes will immediately raise your self-confidence, increase your ego, and make you look more attractive. CAUTION: Aviod direct eye contact!

2. Insert hyphens ad nauseam into any sentence, written or oral.

3. Look up ad nauseam on wikipedia. Repeat for anything else you do not know.