We are fools for Christ's sake

"We see many who are struggling against adversity who are happy, and more although abounding in wealth, who are wretched."
-Tacitus

I don’t know what it’s like to be passionate about something. Anything. Or anyone for that matter.

The reason why is of no consequence, as I’m not even sure myself. Although, even were I completely sure, I wouldn’t tell you anyway.

The fact is I lack whatever it takes to have deep, meaningful desires. Maybe it’s that I’ve been able to achieve what’s been expected of me with little effort. School is what I’m talking about now. I don’t mean to boast or sound conceited, but believe me when I say that graduating college has not been a taxing experience. I can count a handful or times when a single class has given me cause to put some real effort into studying. But for the most part I’ve coasted. And for that I feel guilty. Guilty for wasting my talent and abilities. Guilty for passing up opportunities many in this world will never have. Guilty for not achieving more. But that would take desire. Ambition. Passion. Which, as I said earlier, I simply don’t have.

And the worst part is that I may never find something I’m passionate about. I could very easily coast through the rest of my life. This itself is a luxury many in this world would (and do) die for.

Ugh. I’ll tell you all something about me. I don’t like at all what I just wrote. I hate talking about myself. Some of the above stuff’s true, most of its exaggerated. It all sounds whiney and contrived, which I hate in others and abhor in myself. But I did feel the need to post something, so there it is. Next time it’ll be funny…er. Or about, you know...god or something.